Sep 28, 2005

It burns.

a page from the journal of Chicane

Isn't vacation supposed to make you feel rested and ready to take on the world? Isn't it supposed to mellow you out, iron out the stress wrinkles... make you normal again?

You'd think.

Something is wrong and I don't know what it is. I don't know how to fix it. I've never felt such anxiety in my life. Like a ball of fire burning in my chest. Nervous, panicked. What the fuck? I feel like screaming until my lungs burn. I feel like running until my heart bursts. This isn't me! How the hell are you supposed to fix something if you don't know whats causing the problem!?

There's something inside of me clawing to get out. Like a caged animal. How do I release this?

I am better than this. I do not get stressed.

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